**BYU Football Player Jake Retzlaff Faces Lawsuit Over Alleged 2023 Sexual Assault: A Touchdown of Trouble**
In a shocking turn of events that has left fans scratching their helmets, BYU football player Jake Retzlaff is facing a lawsuit over an alleged sexual assault that reportedly occurred during the 2023 season. Sources say the incident took place right after Retzlaff threw a game-winning touchdown pass, which, ironically, was the only thing he was supposed to be throwing that day.
According to court documents, the plaintiff, who wishes to remain anonymous but is definitely not named “Sally McSkeptical,” claims that Retzlaff’s post-game celebration included “excessive high-fives and unsolicited hugs.” In a statement, she said, “I just wanted to celebrate the win, not be tackled by a linebacker of emotions!”
Retzlaff, on the other hand, has taken to social media to defend himself, tweeting, “I thought we were just playing a game of ‘who can hug the hardest!’” His coach, Coach Gridiron, commented, “We always teach our players to tackle their opponents, not their fans. This is a real learning moment for Jake.”
In a bizarre twist, Retzlaff’s lawyer, Chuck “The Defender” McBailout, stated, “This is just a misunderstanding. Jake thought he was in a game of ‘Capture the Flag,’ not ‘Capture the Lawsuit.’” He added, “We’re confident that once the jury sees his touchdown dance, they’ll realize he’s just a misunderstood athlete with a flair for the dramatic.”
As the case unfolds, one thing is clear: BYU football is no stranger to controversy. Fans are left wondering if Retzlaff will be able to tackle this legal challenge or if he’ll fumble his way into the courtroom. Either way, it looks like this season is shaping up to be a real nail-biter—both on and off the field!
