**Bulgarian Nationalists Rally Against Government’s Euro Adoption Plans: “We Prefer Our Currency Like Our Yogurt—Thick and Sour!”**
In a stunning display of national pride, Bulgarian nationalists gathered in Sofia this weekend to protest the government’s plans to adopt the Euro, declaring that they would rather stick to their beloved Lev than “surrender to the tyranny of foreign coins.” The rally, dubbed “Lev or Never,” attracted a crowd of enthusiastic patriots, many of whom were armed with homemade signs reading, “Keep Your Euro, We Want Our Lev!” and “No Euro, No Problem—We Have Plenty of Garlic!”
Leading the charge was the self-proclaimed “Grand Poobah of Bulgarian Nationalism,” Boris “The Lev” Petrov, who passionately declared, “The Euro is just a fancy way for Brussels to tell us how to make our banitsa! We prefer our currency like our yogurt—thick and sour!” Petrov went on to suggest that the government should instead consider adopting a new currency based on the national dish, saying, “Imagine paying for your groceries with a pile of freshly baked banitsa! Now that’s a currency I can get behind!”
The rally featured a variety of entertainment, including a Lev-themed dance-off, where participants showcased their best moves while clutching bags of coins. One enthusiastic dancer, known only as “Dancing Dimo,” claimed, “I can’t dance to the Euro, but I can definitely shimmy to the sound of clinking Lev coins!”
As the day progressed, the protesters were joined by a group of local farmers who insisted that adopting the Euro would lead to a shortage of traditional Bulgarian produce. “If we switch to the Euro, how will we ever afford to buy our own tomatoes?” lamented farmer Maria “Tomato Queen” Ivanova. “I can’t pay for my vegetables with a currency that doesn’t even know how to make a proper Shopska salad!”
Despite the lighthearted atmosphere, the nationalists made it clear that they were serious about their stance. “We will not be silenced!” shouted Petrov, waving a giant Lev bill like a flag. “We will fight for our right to keep our currency, our culture, and our ability to complain about everything!”
As the sun set over Sofia, the rally concluded with a rousing rendition of the national anthem, slightly altered to include the lyrics, “Oh, Lev, my Lev, you’re the only one for me!” The nationalists left the square, determined to keep their currency and their banitsa close to their hearts—because in Bulgaria, nothing says patriotism quite like a thick slice of sour yogurt and a pocket full of Lev.
