**Buffett to Attend Next Year’s Berkshire Shareholder Meeting, Will Not Take Questions: “I’m Just Here for the Free Snacks!”**
In a shocking announcement that has left the financial world reeling, Warren Buffett, the Oracle of Omaha himself, has confirmed he will attend next year’s Berkshire Hathaway shareholder meeting but will not take any questions. Instead, he plans to spend the entire event “snacking on overpriced popcorn and judging everyone’s 401(k) choices from afar.”
“I’m really just here for the snacks,” Buffett quipped during a recent press conference, where he was seen munching on a giant pretzel. “I mean, have you tried the nachos? They’re practically a diversified portfolio of deliciousness!”
The news has sent shockwaves through the Berkshire community, with many shareholders expressing their disappointment. “I was really hoping to ask him about my stock options,” lamented local shareholder and self-proclaimed ‘Buffett Whisperer’ Linda McMuffin. “But now I guess I’ll just have to settle for a bag of stale chips and a selfie with Charlie Munger.”
In a bizarre twist, Buffett’s decision has sparked a new trend among shareholders. “We’re calling it ‘The Buffett Challenge,’” said investment guru and part-time magician, Greg “The Great” Gibbons. “The goal is to see how many snacks you can eat in an hour without asking a single question. So far, I’m at 12 nachos and counting!”
As the date approaches, speculation is rampant about what Buffett will do instead of answering questions. “I hear he’s planning to host a live cooking show called ‘Cooking with Cash,’” said financial analyst and amateur fortune teller, Crystal Ballington. “He’ll be whipping up some of his favorite recipes while ignoring our burning inquiries about the future of the stock market.”
In the meantime, shareholders are advised to bring their own snacks and prepare for a meeting that promises to be more about munching than money. As Buffett himself put it, “Why answer questions when you can just eat your way to enlightenment?”
So, mark your calendars, folks! Next year’s Berkshire meeting is shaping up to be a buffet of laughter, snacks, and a whole lot of unanswered questions.
