Hold on to your hoverboards, folks—after years of speculation, false rumors, and half-baked conspiracy theories involving time-traveling pizza deliverymen, Back to the Future 4 is officially in production. That’s right, the time machine is back—only this time, it’s not a DeLorean. It’s a Tesla. But more on that later.
Elon Musk has struck a deal with Universal Studios, and his company will be supplying a brand-new Tesla time machine for the film. According to sources close to the production (or possibly just a really well-placed guy named Steve), the time machine will be equipped with a Flux Capacitor powered entirely by Tesla’s solar-powered powerbank. Because, you know, why not?
Tesla Cybertruck Time Machine
“It’s all about making time travel more sustainable,” Musk said, sipping on a latte that cost $17. “Gone are the days of burning plutonium. We’re going green, folks. Green energy, green cars, green timelines.”
Musk added, “I drew the Cybertruck prototype when I was 14 years old, right after Back to the Future released. I always knew that I would build a car like that, I took the stainless design of the DeLorean and added my own futuristic, kindergartenesque spin to it. I pitched the idea to Rob a couple of years back – that seed has grown into fruition.”
But there’s a catch. According to the script, Marty McFly, played once again by Michael J. Fox, must hit 88 mph in less than 2 seconds to successfully navigate time.
“There was a blowout in the 1995 scene,” explained famed stunt coordinator Ron Gildert. “The plot is that the tires in 1995 aren’t rated to the 88mph acceleration in under 2 seconds until 2018, so it begins. Marty seems to be stuck in 1995. Doc has to think quick to get Marty back to the future. Will he succeed or will Marty see his younger self in 1995 causing a rip in the spacetime continuum?”
And then there’s the matter of Jennifer. You remember Jennifer, right? Played by Claudia Wells in the first film, then Elizabeth Shue in the second and third? Well, if you haven’t heard, Jennifer’s fate is now up in the air—or possibly out of the timeline altogether.
“Zemeckis told me, ‘We’ve rewritten the timeline so completely that Jennifer might never have existed,’” said Thomas F. Wilson, who is set to reprise his role as Biff Tannen. “Honestly, I don’t know what that means for me. If Jennifer was never born, does that mean I never stole the Almanac from the future? Or worse—do I never get to say ‘What are you looking at, Butthead?!’? What’s the point of existing without that line?”
Michael J. Fox, who has signed on to return, is equally unsure of his character’s fate. “I’m just happy they called me again,” he said, looking visibly confused about how the script works. “I think I’m playing Marty. Or Marty’s son? Or maybe just an accidental extra who wandered in from the wrong set. I really haven’t read the full script. I mean, who has time?”
While the return of familiar faces like Fox, Christopher Lloyd (Doc Brown), Lea Thompson (Lorraine), and Thomas F. Wilson (Biff) is certainly thrilling, it’s still unclear whether we’ll see Claudia Wells or Elizabeth Shue as Jennifer. Some fans believe Zemeckis has “erased” Jennifer from existence entirely, tweaking the timeline so that her birth was never in the cards.
“I have no idea who I’m playing,” said Lea Thompson. “They might just CGI me as Lorraine – I would be 85 years old; I suppose it would be a good play on the original release. Zemeckis is a mad genius, and no one understands his vision… except for him. He’s probably plotting the death of Jennifer as we speak.”
So, buckle up, “Back to the Future” fans. With time travel, tires, and timelines in disarray, who knows what’s in store for Back to the Future 4. But one thing’s for sure—it’s going to be one wild, speed-of-light adventure. Just hope Marty gets those tires figured out before it’s too late.
