**Biden’s Education Department Focuses on Pronouns While Overlooking 200 Antisemitism Complaints: A Comedy of Errors**
In a stunning display of prioritization, the Biden Administration’s Education Department has decided to tackle the pressing issue of pronouns while conveniently overlooking a staggering 200 complaints of antisemitism. “We believe in the power of language,” said Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona, “and what better way to empower students than by ensuring they can express their pronouns? Who needs to address actual hate when you can have a ‘they/them’ sticker on your laptop?”
Critics have been quick to point out the absurdity of this focus. “It’s like trying to fix a leaky roof by painting the walls,” quipped local educator and part-time stand-up comedian, Judy “The Jester” Johnson. “I mean, sure, let’s make sure everyone feels included, but maybe we should also address the fact that some students are being bullied for their faith. Just a thought!”
Meanwhile, in a bizarre twist, the Education Department has launched a new initiative called “Pronouns Over Problems.” The program aims to teach students how to use their preferred pronouns while simultaneously ignoring any antisemitic remarks. “We’re calling it ‘The Art of Selective Hearing,’” said Cardona, who was last seen trying to pronounce “Zachary” as “Zachary-They.”
In a recent press conference, a bewildered student named Timmy “The Tolerant” Thompson asked, “Can I identify as a bagel? Because I feel like I’m getting toasted over here!” The room erupted in laughter, proving that humor might just be the best way to cope with the absurdity of it all.
As the Education Department continues to navigate this minefield of miscommunication, one thing is clear: when it comes to addressing real issues, they’re all about the pronouns—because who needs to confront antisemitism when you can just change the subject?
