**Biden Aides Explore Controversial Tactics to Conceal Cognitive Decline and Keep Trump at Bay, Says Author**
In a shocking revelation that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, a new book claims that aides to President Joe Biden have been employing some rather unorthodox methods to mask his cognitive decline and keep former President Donald Trump at bay. The book, titled *“Biden’s Brain: A Comedy of Errors,”* is set to hit shelves next Tuesday, just in time for the next round of political debates—because who doesn’t love a good laugh?
According to the author, Chuckle McGee, Biden’s team has resorted to tactics that would make even the most seasoned magician blush. “They’ve been using everything from smoke and mirrors to a life-sized cardboard cutout of Biden that occasionally nods and waves,” McGee claims. “At one point, they even considered hiring a parrot to repeat ‘I’m fine!’ every time someone asked about his mental state.”
Sources close to the White House revealed that aides have been slipping Biden “brain-boosting” smoothies made of kale, chia seeds, and a dash of pure panic. “We call it the ‘Cognitive Kaleidoscope,’” said one aide, who wished to remain anonymous but was clearly named Bob. “It’s like a health drink, but with a side of denial.”
In a particularly bold move, aides reportedly staged a fake debate where Biden faced off against a sock puppet version of Trump. “It was a huge success! The sock puppet was more coherent than the real Trump,” said another aide, who was definitely not named Karen. “Plus, it didn’t interrupt Biden every five seconds.”
As the book’s release date approaches, the Biden administration is bracing for the inevitable fallout. “We’re just trying to keep things light,” said Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. “After all, if we can’t laugh at ourselves, we might as well be watching reruns of *The Apprentice*.”
So, as the political circus continues, one thing is clear: whether it’s through smoothies, sock puppets, or a healthy dose of humor, Biden’s aides are determined to keep the show on the road—and keep Trump at bay. Because in politics, if you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with nonsense!
