**Beavers Power Past TCU 7-2 with Four Home Runs and Strong Debut from Dax Whitney: A Tale of Wood, Wits, and Wildness**
In a game that can only be described as a lumberjack’s dream, the Oregon State Beavers crushed the TCU Horned Frogs 7-2, thanks to four home runs and a debut performance from rookie Dax Whitney that left fans wondering if he was born with a bat in his hand or just really, really likes wood.
The Beavers’ offensive onslaught began in the first inning when senior slugger Chuck “The Beaver” McFurrow launched a ball so far it was rumored to have landed in a neighboring state. “I just wanted to hit it hard enough to scare the squirrels,” McFurrow said, still panting from his home run trot. “Turns out, I scared a whole lot more than that!”
Whitney, who was making his first appearance in a Beaver uniform, pitched like he was auditioning for a role in a superhero movie. “I told him to channel his inner beaver,” said Coach Tim Timberlake. “You know, build a dam, take control of the river, and don’t let anything get past you. He took it literally and threw strikes like he was trying to sink a battleship.”
The Horned Frogs, meanwhile, seemed more interested in hopping around than actually playing baseball. “We thought we were at a frog-jumping contest,” said TCU’s coach, Ribbit McJumpface. “Turns out, we were just outmatched by a bunch of beavers with bats.”
As the game progressed, the Beavers’ dugout erupted into a frenzy of beaver-themed chants, including “Dam Good Hit!” and “We’re Not Just Chewing the Fat!” Fans were left wondering if they had stumbled into a baseball game or a beaver-themed comedy show.
In the end, the Beavers walked away with a victory, leaving TCU to ponder their life choices. “Next time, we’ll bring our A-game,” McJumpface promised. “And maybe some actual frogs.”
As for Dax Whitney, he’s already being hailed as the “Beaver Whisperer.” “I just hope I don’t get too famous,” he said, “or I’ll have to start charging for autographs. And I’m not sure how to sign ‘Dax Whitney, Professional Beaver Enthusiast.’”
In the world of college baseball, one thing is clear: when the Beavers are in town, it’s not just a game; it’s a full-blown woodsy spectacle!
