**Baltimore Schools Face Lawsuit Over Alleged Failure to Safeguard Students from Abusive Teacher: “We Thought He Was Just Really, Really Enthusiastic!”**
In a shocking turn of events that has left the Baltimore education system reeling, a group of parents has filed a lawsuit against the Baltimore City Public Schools, claiming that they failed to protect their children from an allegedly abusive teacher who, according to sources, was “just a little too passionate about math.”
The teacher in question, Mr. Chuck “The Calculator” Thompson, was known for his unorthodox teaching methods, which included “hands-on” demonstrations that some parents are now calling “hands-off” in a very different sense. “We thought he was just really, really enthusiastic about fractions,” said one bewildered parent, Mrs. Linda Pencilsworth. “I mean, who doesn’t love a good pie chart? But apparently, he took ‘dividing the class’ a bit too literally.”
The lawsuit alleges that Mr. Thompson’s approach to education involved more than just chalk and talk. “He would often say, ‘Let’s get physical with our learning!’” recalled one student, who wished to remain anonymous but was later identified as Timmy “The Mathlete” Johnson. “I thought he meant we’d be doing jumping jacks while solving equations. Turns out, I was wrong.”
In response to the lawsuit, the school district released a statement saying, “We take these allegations very seriously. We are currently reviewing our policies on teacher enthusiasm and will be implementing mandatory ‘How Not to Be a Creepy Teacher’ workshops.”
Meanwhile, Mr. Thompson has been placed on administrative leave, where he is reportedly “working on his passion for interpretive dance” and “finding new ways to express his love for algebra.”
As the case unfolds, one thing is clear: Baltimore schools are committed to ensuring that their students are safe from any future “enthusiastic” educators. In the meantime, parents are advised to keep an eye out for any teachers who seem a little too excited about their lesson plans—especially if they start talking about “hands-on learning.”
