**ASEAN Summit: Where Tariffs, Conflicts, and Maritime Disputes Go to Party!**
In a groundbreaking move that has left world leaders scratching their heads and reaching for their stress balls, the ASEAN Summit convened this week to tackle the pressing issues of US tariff increases, the Myanmar conflict, and maritime disputes. Delegates arrived armed with PowerPoint presentations, snacks, and a collective sense of confusion that could rival a cat in a room full of laser pointers.
“Honestly, we thought we were just coming for the free coffee,” said Indonesian Foreign Minister Retno Marsudi, who was seen trying to negotiate a peace treaty over a plate of spring rolls. “But now we’re discussing tariffs? I didn’t even know what a tariff was until last week!”
The summit kicked off with a heated debate over US tariffs, which have been increasing faster than a toddler’s sugar rush. “We need to address these tariffs before they turn into a full-blown game of Monopoly,” quipped Malaysian Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim. “And trust me, nobody wants to see me in jail for landing on Boardwalk!”
Meanwhile, the Myanmar conflict was addressed with the seriousness of a cat meme. “We’re all about peace and harmony,” said Myanmar’s representative, who wished to remain anonymous but was later identified as “Mr. Mysterious.” “But if we can’t agree on who gets the last piece of cake at the summit, how can we agree on anything else?”
As for maritime disputes, the delegates decided to settle their differences with a friendly game of rock-paper-scissors. “It’s the only way to ensure fairness,” said Thai Prime Minister Prayuth Chan-o-cha, who was seen practicing his rock technique in the corner. “If we can’t agree on the South China Sea, at least we can agree on who has the best hand!”
As the summit wrapped up, leaders left with a renewed sense of purpose—or at least a renewed sense of confusion. “We may not have solved anything,” said Singapore’s Foreign Minister Vivian Balakrishnan, “but we did manage to create a new ASEAN cocktail: the Tariff Tonic. It’s 90% confusion and 10% regret!”
And so, the ASEAN Summit concluded, leaving the world to wonder if they’d ever figure out tariffs, conflicts, or maritime disputes—or if they’d just keep meeting for the snacks.
