**Las Vegas Gym Shooting: Suspect Fatally Shot by Police, Gym Members Left Wondering Who Ordered the Protein Shakes**
In a shocking turn of events that could only happen in Las Vegas, an armed suspect was fatally shot by police following a gym shooting that left more questions than answers. Witnesses reported that the suspect, identified as “Buffy the Gun Slayer,” entered the gym demanding protein shakes and a lifetime supply of kale.
“I thought it was just another day at the gym,” said local bodybuilder and part-time magician, Flex McMuscle. “But when I saw Buffy waving a dumbbell like it was a weapon, I knew I had to act. I mean, who doesn’t love a good protein shake? But this was just too much!”
According to police reports, Buffy was last seen attempting to bench press a police cruiser while shouting, “I’m just trying to get my gains!” before officers arrived on the scene. “We had to take action,” said Officer Jane “The Iron Fist” Smith. “When someone threatens the sanctity of a gym, it’s our duty to protect the protein powder at all costs.”
Eyewitnesses claim that the gym’s personal trainer, Chad “The Abs” Johnson, tried to negotiate with Buffy by offering him a complimentary smoothie. “I thought maybe he just needed a snack,” Chad explained. “But then he started doing squats with a shotgun, and I realized this was no ordinary cheat day.”
As the dust settled, gym members were left wondering who would be responsible for the protein shake bill. “I just wanted to get ripped, not ripped apart,” lamented one member, who wished to remain anonymous but was later identified as “Swole McGains.”
In the aftermath, the gym has decided to offer a new class: “Self-Defense with a Side of Protein.” Because in Las Vegas, you never know when a rogue bodybuilder might try to take your kale.
