**Arlington Cemetery Website Accidentally Deletes Pages on Black Soldiers, Women in Military, and Civil War; Claims “It Was Just a Glitch”**
In a shocking turn of events, the Arlington National Cemetery website has mysteriously lost pages dedicated to Black soldiers, women in the military, and the Civil War. Officials are scratching their heads, claiming it was just a “glitch.” However, conspiracy theorists are already suggesting it was a covert operation by a rogue group of history buffs who just can’t handle the truth.
“I was just trying to find out how many women fought in the Civil War,” said local history enthusiast and self-proclaimed “Civil War Buff,” Bob “I’m Not a Conspiracy Theorist” Thompson. “But instead, I found a page about the best ways to grill hot dogs at a summer barbecue. I mean, who doesn’t love a good hot dog, but come on!”
The website’s tech team, who are reportedly still using Windows 95, stated, “We were just trying to streamline the site. You know, make it more user-friendly. Who needs to remember the contributions of Black soldiers when you can have a page dedicated to cat memes?”
In a bizarre twist, the cemetery’s spokesperson, Major General Chuck “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” Johnson, commented, “We thought it would be a great idea to focus on the lighter side of history. After all, who doesn’t want to know how to make a perfect s’more while learning about the sacrifices made by our heroes?”
As the nation waits for the pages to be restored, many are left wondering if the glitch was really just a glitch or if it was a sign that history is trying to tell us something. “Maybe it’s time we just start over,” suggested local philosopher and part-time barista, Linda “I Have a Degree in History” Smith. “I mean, if we can forget about the past, we can finally focus on the important stuff—like which TikTok dance best represents the American Revolution.”
In the meantime, Arlington Cemetery has promised to restore the missing pages, but only after they finish their new “History of Hot Dogs” section. Because, let’s face it, nothing says “sacrifice” like a perfectly grilled frankfurter.
