**Appeals Court Upholds Block on Trump Administration’s Federal Workforce Reduction: Bureaucrats Rejoice, Coffee Consumption Soars**
In a landmark decision that has left the nation’s bureaucrats dancing in their cubicles, an appeals court has upheld a block on the Trump administration’s ambitious plan to reduce the federal workforce. The ruling has sent shockwaves through the halls of power, with federal employees celebrating by throwing paperclips and staplers in the air like confetti.
“I was worried I’d have to start doing actual work,” said Mildred P. Paperclip, a 30-year veteran of the Department of Redundancy Department. “Now I can continue my important mission of ensuring that every form is filled out in triplicate. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it!”
The court’s decision came after a lengthy deliberation that involved a lot of coffee breaks and a heated debate over whether or not to order pizza. “We realized that if we cut the workforce, who would be left to make the coffee?” said Judge Barry B. Bureaucrat, who famously once ruled that all government meetings must include at least one donut. “We can’t let the coffee pot run dry. That’s just un-American!”
Meanwhile, the Trump administration has vowed to appeal the decision, claiming that the federal workforce is “too big” and “not nearly as entertaining as reality TV.” “We need to trim the fat,” said former White House advisor and self-proclaimed ‘Bureaucracy Slayer’ Steve B. Nonsense. “I mean, have you seen how many people it takes to change a lightbulb in the Department of Energy? It’s like a sitcom waiting to happen!”
As the dust settles, one thing is clear: the federal workforce will remain intact, and the coffee supply will continue to flow. “I just hope they don’t start making us work from home,” sighed Mildred. “I can’t find my stapler in my living room!”
In the end, the only thing that’s truly reduced is the amount of time spent worrying about job security—at least until the next appeals court ruling. Until then, it’s business as usual in the land of red tape and coffee breaks.
