**Angels Hand Clayton Kershaw a Tough Season Debut in 11-9 Win Over Dodgers: A Heavenly Mess**
In a game that can only be described as a celestial circus, the Los Angeles Angels handed Clayton Kershaw a season debut that left fans wondering if they were watching baseball or a divine comedy. The Angels triumphed over the Dodgers 11-9, proving that even heavenly beings can have a sense of humor.
Kershaw, who was last seen throwing perfect games and making batters weep, took the mound with the confidence of a man who just found out his favorite taco truck is back in business. However, it quickly became apparent that the Angels had other plans. “I thought I was pitching to the Angels, not the entire cast of ‘Angels in the Outfield,’” Kershaw lamented post-game, clearly still in shock. “I mean, I’ve seen better defense from my grandma’s knitting club.”
The Angels’ offense was led by Shohei Ohtani, who reportedly channeled the spirit of Babe Ruth and a caffeinated squirrel. “I just wanted to make sure Kershaw had a memorable debut,” Ohtani said, grinning like a kid who just discovered a hidden stash of candy. “I mean, who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned slugfest?”
Meanwhile, Dodgers manager Dave Roberts was left scratching his head, wondering if he accidentally signed up for a comedy show instead of a baseball game. “I thought we were playing baseball, not ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’” he quipped. “At this point, I’m considering hiring a psychic to predict our next game.”
As the game progressed, fans were treated to a series of bizarre plays that could only be described as “angelic mischief.” One particularly memorable moment involved an outfield collision that sent two Angels players tumbling like they were auditioning for a slapstick film. “I thought they were trying to reenact ‘The Three Stooges,’” said a bewildered fan named Bob “The Baseball Oracle” Thompson.
In the end, the Angels’ victory was a reminder that even the most talented players can have an off day—especially when the baseball gods decide to have a little fun. As Kershaw walked off the field, he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well, at least I didn’t get struck by lightning,” he said. “But I’m definitely going to need a heavenly intervention for the rest of the season.”
And so, the baseball world waits with bated breath for Kershaw’s next outing, hoping it’s less of a divine comedy and more of a blockbuster hit.
