VENICE, LOUISIANA – Residents of this quiet Gulf Coast town were thrust into chaos last night when an Amazon Prime delivery drone was mistaken for an alien spacecraft, setting off a series of bizarre events that culminated in the drone being unceremoniously shot out of the sky.
Earl “Skunk” Dupree
The drama began when the drone, which launched from a distribution center in New Orleans, apparently veered off course during a routine delivery. Witnesses say its blinking lights and low hum looked “just like what you see in them documentaries on the History Channel,” according to local conspiracy theorist Earl “Skunk” Dupree.
“First it was hovering all weird-like over my barn, and then it started moving toward Old Man Landry’s,” said Dupree, holding a flashlight under his chin for dramatic effect. “I knew it was them aliens come for our crawfish.”
Deputy Troy Boudreaux, Venice’s one-man law enforcement team and self-proclaimed expert in “UFO shootin’,” sprang into action upon receiving a frantic call from Dupree. Armed with his trusty double-barrel shotgun and a hefty dose of skepticism, Boudreaux headed straight for the commotion.
“I thought it might be swamp gas at first,” Boudreaux told reporters, polishing the spent shells. “But when I saw them flashing lights and heard it buzzin’ like a million skeeters, I knew I had to act. It’s not every day you get to save humanity from a high-tech alien invasion.”
The drone was shot down in spectacular fashion behind Old Man Landry’s bait shop, scattering Amazon packages and one particularly confused stray cat into the bayou.
Deputy Troy Boudreaux
“I reckon the cat was a decoy,” mused Boudreaux. “Smart aliens, using Earth creatures to blend in. But not smart enough to outwit Troy Boudreaux.”
Amazon confirmed the drone was on a mission to deliver a pair of size 12 Crocs to a customer in Venice and expressed mild disappointment at the situation. “While we strive for timely deliveries, we did not anticipate being classified as extraterrestrial,” said spokesperson Bree Parcel.
The townsfolk, meanwhile, have taken the incident as a badge of honor. “We’ll be adding ‘First Line of Defense Against Alien Drones’ to our town sign,” announced Mayor Cletus Beauregard at an impromptu press conference.
As for Deputy Boudreaux, he’s taken to calling himself “Captain Intergalactic.” When asked if he had any regrets, he replied with a grin, “Yeah, I should’ve kept that drone as a trophy. Bet it’d look real nice mounted over my fireplace.”
