**Alex Bregman Approaches Potential IL Stint, According to Manager Alex Cora: A Comedy of Errors**
In a shocking turn of events that has left fans scratching their heads and wondering if they accidentally tuned into a soap opera, Houston Astros manager Alex Cora announced that star third baseman Alex Bregman is “approaching” a potential stint on the Injured List (IL). Sources say Bregman’s injury is so mysterious that even Sherlock Holmes would throw up his hands in defeat.
“Alex has been feeling a little under the weather,” Cora said, adjusting his glasses and looking suspiciously at a nearby hot dog vendor. “He claims he’s got a ‘case of the Mondays’ that just won’t quit. I told him it’s Wednesday, but he insisted that time is a social construct.”
Bregman, who was last seen attempting to stretch his way out of a tight pair of pants, reportedly told reporters, “I’m not injured; I’m just in a committed relationship with my couch. It’s a very serious thing. We’re basically engaged at this point.”
Astros fans are divided on the news. “I just hope he doesn’t end up on the IL next to Carlos Correa,” said lifelong fan and self-proclaimed baseball philosopher, Chuck “The Oracle” McGee. “Those two together could start a podcast called ‘Injured and Unbothered.’”
Meanwhile, Cora is preparing for the worst. “If Bregman goes on the IL, I might have to call up my cousin, Larry. He’s got a great arm and a questionable understanding of the game, but he can definitely throw a ball… somewhere.”
As the Astros brace for the potential loss of their star player, fans are left wondering if Bregman will return to the field or if he’ll be too busy planning his wedding to the couch. Stay tuned for updates, and remember: if you see Bregman in a wedding dress, it’s probably just a really elaborate prank.
