**Alaska Man Trapped Face-Down by 700-Pound Boulder in Glacier Creek for Three Hours: A Rocky Situation**
In a tale that could only be described as “boulder-iffic,” local Alaskan hero, Chuck “The Human Pancake” McGraw, found himself in a sticky situation after a 700-pound boulder decided to play a game of “who can crush the most dreams” during a routine fishing trip at Glacier Creek.
Witnesses report that Chuck was attempting to catch the “legendary” fish known as the “Glacier Goliath” when he slipped, face-first into the creek, only to be promptly pinned down by the boulder that had apparently been waiting for its moment to shine. “I thought it was just a really big fish,” Chuck said, still sporting a face full of creek water and a hint of regret. “Turns out, it was just a rock with commitment issues.”
For three long hours, Chuck remained trapped, serenaded by the gentle sounds of nature and the occasional snicker from passing tourists. “I’ve seen some crazy things in my life,” said local fisherman and self-proclaimed rock whisperer, Bob “The Boulder Buddy” Thompson. “But this? This is a new level of ‘hold my beer.’”
Rescue teams arrived after receiving a tip from a concerned squirrel who had been watching the whole ordeal unfold. “I thought he was just taking a really long nap,” said the squirrel, who wished to remain anonymous. “But then I realized he was face-down in a creek, and that’s just not how you fish.”
After being freed from his rocky prison, Chuck emerged with a newfound appreciation for life—and a face that resembled a well-cooked hot dog. “I learned two things today,” he declared, “never underestimate the power of a boulder and always check for rocks before you dive into a creek. Also, I’m never fishing again. I’m sticking to couch surfing.”
As for the boulder, it has since been declared a local celebrity, with plans for a statue in its honor already in the works. “It’s not every day you get to crush a man’s dreams and become a local legend,” said the boulder’s spokesperson, Rocky McRockface. “We’re just getting started!”
So, if you’re ever in Glacier Creek, remember: watch your step, or you might just end up as the next face-down fish story.
