**A New Era in Border Security Efficiency Following Musk’s Exit**
In a shocking turn of events, the world of border security has been turned upside down following Elon Musk’s recent departure from the tech scene. With the billionaire’s exit, officials are reporting a newfound efficiency in border security that can only be described as “out of this world”—and not just because Musk is no longer launching rockets.
“Ever since Elon left, our border patrol agents have been using their brains instead of their smartphones,” said Chief Border Security Officer, Chuck “The Wall” McGraw. “We’ve replaced the SpaceX rockets with good old-fashioned walkie-talkies. Who knew communication could be so… analog?”
In a bold move, the Department of Homeland Security has decided to implement a series of unconventional strategies to enhance border security. These include the deployment of trained squirrels to monitor suspicious activity and the introduction of a new app called “Border Buddy,” which alerts users to potential breaches while also suggesting the best taco trucks nearby.
“We’re calling it the ‘Musk-less Era’—a time when we can finally focus on real issues instead of tweeting about Mars colonization,” said Deputy Director of Border Innovations, Linda “No More Tweets” Thompson. “Plus, we’ve saved a fortune on rocket fuel. Now we can invest in more important things, like inflatable walls.”
Critics, however, are skeptical. “I mean, squirrels? Really?” said local conspiracy theorist and self-proclaimed border expert, Bob “The Nut” Johnson. “What’s next? A catapult system for illegal immigrants? I’d rather see a Tesla at the border than a bunch of furry spies!”
Despite the skepticism, the new measures have reportedly led to a 200% increase in efficiency, with agents now spending more time on actual security and less time trying to figure out how to charge their electric vehicles.
As the world watches this unprecedented shift in border security, one thing is clear: without Musk, the only thing that’s getting launched is a new era of efficiency—one squirrel at a time.
