**A 150-Year History of Ships Colliding with the Brooklyn Bridge: A Maritime Comedy of Errors**
Ahoy, landlubbers! As we celebrate the 150th anniversary of the Brooklyn Bridge, we must also commemorate its lesser-known legacy: the impressive number of ships that have collided with it. Yes, folks, the bridge has become the ultimate nautical piñata, and it’s time to dive into this maritime comedy of errors.
It all began in 1873 when the bridge was completed, and Captain Horatio “Oopsie” McSailor became the first to make history by mistaking the bridge for a giant, floating taco. “I thought it was a taco stand! I was hungry!” he exclaimed, as his ship, the SS Guacamole, crunched into the bridge’s iconic towers. The taco theory was later debunked, but it set a precedent for future collisions.
Fast forward to 1923, when Captain Sally “The Seagull” McFlap decided to take a shortcut under the bridge. “I thought I could make it! I was just trying to impress my parrot!” she squawked after her vessel, the USS Featherweight, became wedged between the bridge and a passing pigeon. The pigeon was unharmed, but the ship was declared a total loss.
In 1985, the infamous Captain Bob “The Blinker” Blinkerson claimed he was distracted by a particularly riveting episode of “The Love Boat.” “I just couldn’t look away! I mean, who doesn’t love a good love triangle?” he lamented after his cargo ship, the SS Romance, collided with the bridge, sending crates of love letters flying into the East River.
Most recently, in 2020, Captain Linda “The Luddite” Loo decided to navigate using only a paper map. “I thought GPS was a conspiracy!” she declared after her yacht, the SS Lost Cause, crashed into the bridge. “I just wanted to get to the other side for brunch!”
As we look back on this 150-year history of ships colliding with the Brooklyn Bridge, one thing is clear: the bridge has become a rite of passage for captains who can’t tell their left from their right. So, here’s to the Brooklyn Bridge—may it continue to stand tall, while ships continue to crash into it like a bad reality show. After all, what’s a little maritime mayhem between friends?
