In a shocking turn of events, yoga business founder, Zen Master Yogi, has been sentenced to four years in prison after pleading guilty to a tax charge. This downward dog has taken a turn for the worse as Zen Master Yogi’s empire comes crashing down faster than you can say “namaste.”
The once beloved guru, known for his calming presence and zen teachings, was caught in a downward spiral of financial deception. It turns out that while he was busy chanting mantras and meditating, Zen Master Yogi was also cooking the books and avoiding paying his fair share of taxes.
When questioned about his fraudulent activities, Zen Master Yogi could only muster up a feeble excuse, saying, “I was just trying to balance my chakras and my bank account at the same time. It’s hard being a spiritual leader and a tax evader, you know?”
But the judge was not buying his spiritual mumbo jumbo, sentencing him to four years in the slammer. In a twist of irony, Zen Master Yogi will now have plenty of time to practice his yoga poses in the prison yard.
As news of his imprisonment spread, former students and followers of Zen Master Yogi were left in shock. One disciple, who wished to remain anonymous, lamented, “I can’t believe he deceived us like this. I thought he was all about finding inner peace, not inner fraud.”
But fear not, yoga enthusiasts, for there is a silver lining to this dark cloud. In a stroke of genius, Zen Master Yogi’s former business partner, Stretch Armstrong, has announced plans to rebrand the yoga studio as “Stretch and Detox: Yoga for the Incarcerated.” With a tagline that promises to “stretch your body and your sentence,” it looks like Zen Master Yogi’s legacy will live on in the most unexpected of ways.
So next time you roll out your yoga mat, just remember to check your guru’s tax returns. Namaste, indeed.
