In a shocking turn of events, the latest version of Trump’s big bill currently before the Senate has left many scratching their heads in confusion. The bill, which is said to encompass everything from healthcare to immigration reform, has been causing quite a stir in Washington.
One anonymous source within the Senate described the bill as “a hot mess of unrelated policies and poorly thought-out ideas.” Another source, who wished to remain nameless, stated that “it’s like someone took a bunch of random pages from different bills and threw them together in a blender.”
One of the most controversial aspects of the bill is a provision that would require all Americans to wear red “Make America Great Again” hats at all times. When asked about this requirement, Senator John Smith replied, “I think it’s a great idea! It will really bring the country together and show our support for the President.”
However, not everyone is on board with the hat mandate. Senator Jane Doe quipped, “I refuse to wear that ridiculous hat. I’d rather wear a lampshade on my head than support that nonsense.”
In addition to the hat requirement, the bill also includes a provision that would rename the White House to the “Trump Tower East.” When questioned about this change, President Trump himself reportedly said, “It’s only fair. I’ve done so much for this country, it’s time we give credit where credit is due.”
Despite the uproar surrounding the bill, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell remains optimistic. In a statement to the press, McConnell said, “I have full confidence that this bill will pass with flying colors. It’s truly a masterpiece of legislative genius.”
Only time will tell what will become of Trump’s big bill, but one thing is for certain – it’s sure to keep the satire news websites in business for years to come.
