In a shocking turn of events, GOP senators have banded together to call for an end to funding for sanctuary cities. Senator Ted Cruz, known for his fiery rhetoric and love of cowboy boots, declared in a press conference, “Enough is enough! We cannot continue to support cities that prioritize the safety of immigrants over American citizens.”
Senator Mitch McConnell, sporting his signature turtle neck sweater, chimed in, “It’s time for these sanctuary cities to shape up or ship out. We need to put our American citizens first, not those who have broken the law to be here.”
But the real star of the show was Senator Chuck Norris, who made a surprise appearance and delivered a roundhouse kick to a dummy labeled ‘Sanctuary City’. “I don’t mess around when it comes to protecting America,” Norris growled. “These cities need to learn that they can’t play by their own rules.”
The response from sanctuary city mayors was swift and fierce. Mayor Karen Walker of San Francisco scoffed, “Oh please, these GOP senators are just a bunch of drama queens. We will continue to stand up for the rights of all our residents, regardless of their immigration status.”
Mayor Randy Savage of New York City echoed her sentiment, saying, “Ooooh yeah! The Macho Man ain’t gonna back down to these GOP bullies. We will fight for justice and equality for all, dig it!”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear – the battle between sanctuary cities and GOP senators is far from over. Will the senators succeed in cutting off funding? Or will the mayors of sanctuary cities continue to defy their demands? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure – it’s going to be one heck of a showdown. Stay tuned for more updates on this absurd and hilarious saga.
