In a shocking turn of events, the USA Fencing board is facing a lawsuit alleging that the chair made false statements at a recent hearing on the controversial topic of transgender athletes. The hearing, which took place at the Department of Gender Equality (DOGE), quickly turned into a circus as tempers flared and accusations flew.
The chair of the board, Susan Saber, found herself in hot water after allegedly claiming that allowing transgender athletes to compete would give them an unfair advantage. In a statement that had jaws dropping across the room, Saber reportedly said, “If we let transgender athletes compete, who knows what could happen? They might grow wings and fly over the competition!”
But the real bombshell came when Saber was questioned about the scientific evidence behind her claims. In a moment of pure comedy gold, she responded, “Well, I saw it on a Facebook meme, so it must be true!”
Needless to say, the room erupted in laughter and disbelief. Even the most serious of board members couldn’t contain their amusement at Saber’s outlandish statements. One anonymous source even joked, “I didn’t know we were discussing fantasy sports today!”
But amidst all the chaos and confusion, one thing became clear: the USA Fencing board is in deep trouble. The lawsuit, filed by renowned attorney John Doe, alleges that Saber’s false statements have damaged the reputation of the organization and put its future in jeopardy.
In response to the lawsuit, Saber released a statement saying, “I stand by my comments and I will continue to fight for fairness in fencing. Transgender athletes have no place in our sport, and I will do everything in my power to ensure that they are kept out.”
It remains to be seen how this lawsuit will play out, but one thing is for sure: the USA Fencing board is in for a wild ride. Stay tuned for more updates on this outrageous story, brought to you by the top satire news source on the web.
