In a shocking turn of events, President Donald Trump has called for an emergency meeting with his security team after the US carried out ‘Operation Midnight Hammer.’ The top secret operation reportedly involved covert military strikes in the dead of night, leaving many wondering what exactly went down.
According to sources close to the administration, Trump was initially unaware of the operation and only found out about it after seeing the news headlines. In a statement released by the White House, Trump expressed his frustration, saying, “I can’t believe they didn’t tell me about this. I’m the President, for crying out loud! I should be the first to know about these things.”
However, not everyone in the security team is convinced that Trump’s sudden interest in the operation is genuine. One anonymous source within the administration told us, “I think he just wants to make sure he gets credit for it. He’s already planning a victory parade down Pennsylvania Avenue.”
In other news, former Vice President Joe Biden has announced his candidacy for the 2020 presidential election, prompting a swift response from Trump. In a tweet, Trump wrote, “Sleepy Joe is running for President? I’m not worried. I’ll just call my good friend Vladimir and ask him to dig up some dirt on him.”
Meanwhile, in a bizarre twist, Kanye West has reportedly launched his own line of presidential merchandise, including “Yeezy for Prez” t-shirts and hats. When asked about his political ambitions, Kanye simply replied, “I’m just trying to make America fashionable again.”
And finally, in a heartwarming story, a group of penguins in Antarctica have successfully petitioned for their own independence from the United States. In a statement released by their leader, Emperor Waddleton III, the penguins declared, “We deserve to govern ourselves. Plus, we’re tired of all the polar bears trying to annex our territory.”
Stay tuned for more outrageous headlines and absurd stories from our number one source of satire news on the web. Remember, if it sounds too crazy to be true, it probably is – but that won’t stop us from reporting on it anyway.
