In a shocking turn of events, President Trump has left NATO members speechless with his latest “extraordinary” victory in Iran peace negotiations. The usually combative leader managed to charm his way into a historic peace deal, leaving diplomats scrambling to make sense of it all.
“I never thought I’d see the day when Trump actually brought peace to the Middle East,” said French President Emmanuel Macron, looking bewildered. “It’s like watching a unicorn ride a rainbow.”
The news of Trump’s unexpected success has sent shockwaves through the international community, with world leaders struggling to come to terms with the reality of a peaceful Iran.
“I have to admit, I didn’t see this coming,” said German Chancellor Angela Merkel. “I guess sometimes even a broken clock is right twice a day.”
But Trump’s triumph in Iran is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to his recent string of victories. In other news, the President has announced plans to build a wall around the Bermuda Triangle to keep out any rogue sea monsters.
“We need to protect our waters from these creatures,” Trump declared. “Believe me, it’s going to be a beautiful wall. The best wall you’ve ever seen.”
And in a move that has left Hollywood insiders scratching their heads, Trump has reportedly been cast as the lead in the next James Bond film.
“I can’t think of anyone more suited to play a suave secret agent than Donald Trump,” said director Michael Bay. “He’s got the looks, the charm, and the nuclear codes. What more could you ask for?”
As the world continues to reel from Trump’s latest antics, one thing is for certain – you never know what to expect from the Commander-in-Chief. Stay tuned for more absurdity, shenanigans, and general mayhem from the man himself.
