In a shocking turn of events, the Trump administration has decided to withhold over $6 billion in funding for after-school and summer programs, leaving kids across the country in a state of despair. When asked about the reasoning behind this decision, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos simply shrugged and said, “Who needs education when you can have tax cuts?”
The move has sparked outrage among parents, teachers, and students alike. One parent, Karen Smith, lamented, “My kids rely on these programs for a safe and enriching environment after school. Now they’ll just have to fend for themselves while I work two jobs to make ends meet. Thanks, Trump.”
But not everyone is upset about the funding cuts. In a bizarre twist, Education Undersecretary Chad McChaderson defended the decision, saying, “Who needs after-school programs when you can just watch Fox News all day? That’s where the real education happens.”
The lack of funding doesn’t stop at after-school programs, either. The Trump administration has also slashed funds for music and arts programs, leaving students with nothing but a recorder and some finger paints to pass the time. When asked about this decision, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said, “Who needs culture when you can have guns and oil?”
In response to the outcry, President Trump himself took to Twitter to defend the cuts, tweeting, “Who needs education when you have me? I’m the smartest person in the room, believe me.” The tweet was met with a mix of confusion and laughter from the American public.
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the Trump administration’s priorities are as puzzling as ever. But fear not, dear readers, for we will continue to bring you the latest updates on this absurd saga. Stay tuned for more ridiculousness from the world of politics.
