In shocking news that has left electric car enthusiasts and Elon Musk fanboys reeling, Tesla sales have plummeted by a staggering 13% in the last three months. The reason? Anti-Musk sentiment seems to be at an all-time high, with critics questioning everything from Musk’s Twitter rants to his choice in baby names.
In a press conference held earlier this week, Tesla spokesperson, John Smith, tried to put a positive spin on the situation. “We’re not worried at all about the recent decline in sales,” Smith said with a nervous twitch. “In fact, we see it as an opportunity to really focus on quality over quantity. Who needs sales when you have a flamethrower, right?”
But not everyone is buying into Smith’s optimistic outlook. One disgruntled customer, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of being targeted by Musk’s loyal army of Twitter trolls, had this to say: “I bought a Tesla because I thought it would make me cool. But now, every time I see Elon Musk tweet, I just cringe. I can’t believe I fell for his whole ‘I’m a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist’ act.”
Meanwhile, Musk himself seemed unfazed by the drop in sales, choosing instead to focus on his latest venture: a chain of vegan taco trucks called “Musk’s Tacos.” When asked about the decline in Tesla sales, Musk replied, “Who needs cars when you have tacos? Am I right, guys?”
As the anti-Musk sentiment continues to grow, it remains to be seen whether Tesla will be able to bounce back from this slump. One thing is for sure, though – Elon Musk will always have his loyal army of SpaceX fans to fall back on.
