In a shocking turn of events, the temperature in New York City has reached a scorching 100 degrees as the eastern US swelters under an extreme heat wave. Residents are feeling the heat, quite literally, as they try to find ways to beat the unbearable weather.
One local, Sally Heatstroke, was quoted as saying, “I feel like I’m melting like a popsicle on a hot summer day. I never thought I’d see the day when it was too hot to even go outside and grab a slice of pizza!”
Even Mayor Bill de Blasio was feeling the heat, as he was seen fanning himself with a fake palm leaf in an attempt to cool down. When asked for a comment on the record-breaking temperatures, he simply replied, “It’s hotter than a jalapeño’s armpit out there!”
Meteorologists are predicting that the heat wave will continue for the foreseeable future, with no relief in sight. Dr. Heatwave, a renowned expert in all things hot and sweaty, had this to say about the situation: “This heat wave is no joke. It’s like Mother Nature turned the oven up to broil and forgot about us poor souls baking in the concrete jungle.”
As the city tries to cope with the extreme temperatures, businesses are getting creative with ways to stay cool. One restaurant owner, Joe Iceberg, has started serving ice cream sandwiches in the shape of the Statue of Liberty in an attempt to lure in customers seeking relief from the heat.
In the meantime, residents are being urged to stay hydrated, wear light clothing, and avoid strenuous outdoor activities. And remember, folks, if you see a puddle on the sidewalk, it might not be water – it could just be a tourist who couldn’t handle the heat!
Stay cool, New York City, and remember to laugh in the face of this heat wave – because if you don’t, you might just melt away!
