In a shocking turn of events, the Supreme Court has sided against a migrant in a deportation case that has left many scratching their heads. The case, which involved a man named Juan Martinez, who had been living in the United States for over 10 years, has sparked outrage among immigration advocates and left many wondering just what the heck is going on in the highest court in the land.
In a 5-4 decision, the court ruled that Martinez’s deportation was lawful, citing some obscure legal jargon that no one really understands. When asked for a comment on the ruling, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg simply shrugged and said, “Well, I guess we just felt like it.”
Martinez’s lawyer, Bob Smith, was absolutely flabbergasted by the decision. “I mean, come on! My client has been a model citizen for over a decade. He pays his taxes, he volunteers at his local soup kitchen, and he even rescues stray kittens on the weekends. How could they possibly think that deporting him is a good idea?”
In a statement released to the press, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) defended their decision to deport Martinez, stating, “We have reason to believe that Mr. Martinez may have once jaywalked back in 2007. We simply cannot have criminals like that roaming the streets of America.”
The decision has also sparked outrage on social media, with many people taking to Twitter to express their disbelief. One user tweeted, “I can’t believe this is happening in America. What’s next, deporting Santa Claus for not having a valid work visa?”
As for Martinez, he has accepted the court’s decision and is already making plans to return to his home country. In a tearful statement to the press, he said, “I may be leaving the US, but I will always cherish the memories I have made here. And hey, at least I won’t have to deal with the IRS anymore!”
So there you have it, folks. In a world where up is down and left is right, the Supreme Court has once again proven that anything is possible. Stay tuned for more absurd rulings and nonsensical decisions in the future, because you never know what the heck is going to happen next.
