In a groundbreaking decision, the Supreme Court has announced that parents will now have the power to shield their precious little snowflakes from any LGBTQ books in school. That’s right, folks, the era of rainbow reading material is officially over!
In a 5-4 ruling, the justices determined that parents have the right to control what their children are exposed to, even if it means banning books that promote acceptance and diversity. Justice Clarence Thomas, writing for the majority, stated, “We must protect the innocence of our children at all costs, even if it means denying them access to important literary works.”
The decision has sparked outrage among LGBTQ advocates, who argue that it sets a dangerous precedent for censorship in schools. However, one parent, Karen McKarenface, hailed the ruling as a victory for traditional values. “I don’t want my little Timmy learning about gay people until he’s at least 30 years old,” she declared. “This is a win for all the good, God-fearing parents out there who want to shield their children from the horrors of inclusion and acceptance.”
Meanwhile, LGBTQ authors and educators are left scratching their heads, wondering how they will navigate this new landscape. Renowned children’s author, J.K. Rowling, expressed her dismay at the ruling, stating, “I never thought I’d see the day when my books would be banned for promoting tolerance and love. It’s a sad day for literature.”
In response to the decision, schools across the country have started removing LGBTQ books from their libraries, much to the delight of conservative groups. One such group, the Coalition for the Preservation of Ignorance, released a statement saying, “Finally, our children can grow up in a world free from the corrupting influence of diversity and acceptance. Hallelujah!”
As the dust settles on this divisive ruling, one thing is clear: the fight for LGBTQ rights is far from over. But for now, parents can rest easy knowing that their children will be shielded from the horrors of LGBTQ books. Let’s just hope they don’t stumble upon a copy of “Heather Has Two Mommies” at the local library!
