In a shocking turn of events, South Carolina Attorney General (AG) Mark “The Tax Terminator” Thompson has announced his bid for governor, with a bold plan to abolish the state income tax. Thompson, known for his tough stance on crime and his love of all things DOGE coin, is shaking up the political landscape in the Palmetto State.
In a press conference outside the state capitol, Thompson declared, “I am sick and tired of hardworking South Carolinians being burdened with the oppressive state income tax. It’s time to DOGE the government and give the power back to the people!” When asked how he plans to make up for the lost revenue, Thompson simply replied, “I have a secret plan that involves a lot of DOGE coin and a little bit of magic. Trust me, it’s gonna be yuge!”
Thompson’s opponent, incumbent Governor Sally “The Tax Collector” Johnson, was quick to criticize his plan, calling it “reckless and irresponsible.” Johnson added, “We can’t just DOGE our responsibilities as a state. We need a balanced approach to taxation that ensures we can provide essential services to our citizens.”
But Thompson remains unfazed, rallying his supporters with his trademark charisma and charm. “I may not have all the answers, but I do have a lot of DOGE coin,” he quipped. “And isn’t that what really matters in politics these days?”
As the campaign heats up, political analysts are divided on Thompson’s chances of success. Some believe his anti-tax message will resonate with voters, while others question the feasibility of his plan. One analyst, who wished to remain anonymous, summed it up best: “It’s like watching a DOGE chase its tail – entertaining, but ultimately futile.”
Only time will tell if Mark “The Tax Terminator” Thompson can DOGE his way to victory in the upcoming gubernatorial election. But one thing’s for sure – it’s going to be one heck of a ride. Stay tuned for more updates on this wild and wacky political showdown!
