In a shocking turn of events, residents of Puerto Rico were left shaken, quite literally, after a magnitude 5.7 earthquake struck off the coast of the Dominican Republic. Reports of shaking were felt across the island, causing panic and confusion among the population.
One resident, Maria Gonzalez, described the experience as “like being on a never-ending rollercoaster ride, except without the fun of cotton candy at the end.” Another local, Juan Rodriguez, added, “I thought I was just dancing to the beat of my own drum, but turns out it was actually the ground beneath me shaking.”
The earthquake, which occurred in the early hours of the morning, left many residents scrambling to safety, with some even resorting to using their pet chihuahuas as makeshift earthquake detectors. “I knew something was up when Fido started barking at the walls,” said one resident, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of being judged for using their dog as a seismograph.
In a press conference following the earthquake, seismologist Dr. Juanita Sanchez assured residents that there was no need to panic, stating, “Earthquakes are just Mother Nature’s way of reminding us that she’s the one in control. So maybe let’s start recycling more, just in case.”
Despite Dr. Sanchez’s reassurances, many residents have been left feeling uneasy, with some even considering investing in earthquake-proof onesies for added protection. “I don’t know about you, but I’ll take my chances with a onesie that doubles as a flotation device any day,” said one resident, who goes by the name of Captain Crunch.
As the dust settles and residents begin to pick up the pieces (both figuratively and literally), one thing is for certain: Puerto Rico may have been shaken, but its sense of humor remains intact. And hey, at least now they have a new excuse for being fashionably late to work – blame it on the earthquake.
