In a whirlwind of pre-draft night trades, several NBA veterans are finding themselves on the move to new teams. From seasoned stars to seasoned benchwarmers, no player is safe from the chaos that is the NBA offseason.
One of the most shocking moves came from the New York Knicks, who traded their aging point guard, Derrick Rose, to the Los Angeles Lakers in exchange for a bag of peanuts and a signed photo of LeBron James. When asked about the trade, Knicks coach Tom Thibodeau simply shrugged and said, “We needed the cap space for more Taj Gibson signings.”
Meanwhile, the Golden State Warriors made a bold move by sending Draymond Green to the Detroit Pistons in exchange for a lifetime supply of deep dish pizza. Warriors head coach Steve Kerr was overheard saying, “We’re really going to miss Draymond’s defensive intensity, but you can never have too much pizza.”
Not to be outdone, the Philadelphia 76ers shocked the basketball world by trading Joel Embiid to the Sacramento Kings in exchange for a collection of rare Beanie Babies. Sixers GM Daryl Morey defended the trade, saying, “We believe these Beanie Babies have the potential to be future Hall of Famers.”
And in a move that surprised no one, the Houston Rockets traded John Wall to the Houston Astros in exchange for a signed baseball bat from Jose Altuve. Rockets owner Tilman Fertitta explained the trade by saying, “We just really needed a power hitter off the bench.”
As the dust settles on these trades, one thing is clear – the NBA offseason is always full of surprises. So buckle up, basketball fans, because you never know when your favorite player might be traded for a bag of peanuts or a Beanie Baby.
