In a shocking turn of events, the Senate GOP is reportedly gearing up to approve major legislation next week, all while President Trump continues to tout party unity. Yes, you heard that right – party unity in the GOP? It’s like seeing a unicorn riding a rainbow through a field of cotton candy!
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was quoted as saying, “We are finally coming together as a party to push through some major legislation that will surely benefit all Americans. And by benefit, I mean benefit the rich, of course.” Ah, classic Mitch, always looking out for the little guy.
But not everyone is convinced of this newfound sense of unity. One anonymous Senate aide was overheard saying, “Yeah, sure, they’re all smiles and handshakes now, but just you wait until they have to actually work together. It’s going to be like herding cats on a rollercoaster.”
Meanwhile, President Trump took to Twitter to praise the GOP’s efforts, tweeting, “The Senate GOP is doing a tremendous job working together to get things done. Tremendous! They’re like a well-oiled machine, if that machine was made of rusty old cogs and duct tape.”
In response to Trump’s tweet, Democratic Senator Chuck Schumer quipped, “Well, if by ‘well-oiled machine’ he means a broken down lawnmower that’s been left out in the rain, then sure, I guess he’s right.”
As the Senate GOP prepares to push through their major legislation next week, one thing is for certain – it’s going to be a wild ride. So buckle up, America, and get ready for some top-notch political theater brought to you by the one and only, Senate GOP.
