In a move that has left lawmakers scratching their heads and reaching for their dictionaries, Senator Chuck Schumer has announced his plan to force the entire Senate to read President Trump’s ‘big, beautiful bill’ in English. Yes, you heard that right folks – English!
According to Schumer, the bill, which is rumored to be the size of a small novel, contains important policies and regulations that the American people need to be aware of. However, in a shocking twist, the bill is written entirely in Mandarin Chinese. When asked about this decision, Schumer replied, “I believe it is crucial that we understand the contents of this bill in order to make an informed decision. And what better way to do that than by forcing everyone to read it in a language they actually understand?”
This bold move has sparked outrage among Senate Republicans, with Senator Mitch McConnell calling it a “waste of time and taxpayer money.” In response, Schumer fired back, “If the Republicans are so concerned about wasting time, perhaps they should spend less time golfing with the President and more time actually reading the bills they are voting on.”
In a hilarious turn of events, Senator Ted Cruz, who is known for his love of all things bilingual, offered to translate the bill into Spanish for his colleagues. However, Schumer quickly shut down this suggestion, stating, “We are sticking to English only, Ted. No one wants to hear your Spanglish translations.”
As tensions continue to rise in the Senate, one thing is for certain – this ‘big, beautiful bill’ is causing quite the stir. Will Schumer’s plan to force a reading in English be successful? Only time will tell. But one thing is for sure, this is one bill that won’t be lost in translation anytime soon.
