In a shocking turn of events, Republicans are rallying to revive former President Trump’s beloved ‘beautiful clean coal industry’ after President Biden shut it down. Yes, you heard that right – clean coal! Who knew such a thing even existed?
The move comes after Biden’s recent executive order to phase out the use of coal in an effort to combat climate change. But fear not, Trump’s loyal followers are not letting this go without a fight. Senator Mitch McTurtle, I mean McConnell, was quoted saying, “We will not stand idly by as Biden tries to take away our beautiful clean coal! It’s the most beautiful coal you’ve ever seen, believe me.”
But the real star of the show is none other than former President Trump himself, who chimed in with his usual bravado, “I built the greatest clean coal industry the world has ever seen, and Sleepy Joe wants to destroy it! Sad!” When asked about the environmental impact of coal mining, Trump responded, “Who cares about the environment when you’ve got such beautiful, clean coal? It’s tremendous, folks, believe me.”
In a bizarre twist, even some Democrats are jumping on the clean coal bandwagon. Senator Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, also known as AOC, was overheard saying, “I never thought I’d say this, but maybe Trump was onto something with this clean coal thing. I mean, who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned coal mine?”
Despite the uproar from both sides of the political spectrum, it seems unlikely that clean coal will make a comeback anytime soon. But hey, stranger things have happened in the world of politics. Who knows, maybe next we’ll be hearing about Biden’s plan to bring back horse-drawn carriages as a means of sustainable transportation. Stay tuned for more ridiculous updates from the world of politics!
