In a shocking turn of events, Republican Rep. Max Miller claims he was “run off the road” by a pro-Palestinian protester while driving in his fancy convertible. The incident reportedly occurred when Miller was on his way to a fundraiser for his re-election campaign, which he was already running late for because he had to stop and get his hair perfectly coiffed.
According to a statement released by Miller’s office, the protester allegedly swerved their vehicle in front of Miller’s, causing him to veer off the road and into a ditch. “I was just minding my own business, listening to my favorite podcast about the benefits of trickle-down economics, when all of a sudden this wild-eyed protester appeared out of nowhere and tried to take me out!” Miller exclaimed, clutching his pearls.
The protester, who has been identified as a man named Bob Boberson (definitely not his real name), denies the allegations, claiming that Miller was actually the one driving recklessly. “I was just peacefully driving my Prius with my ‘Coexist’ bumper sticker, when this entitled politician came speeding up behind me, honking his horn and yelling about tax cuts for the wealthy,” Boberson stated.
In response to the incident, Miller’s campaign team has launched a new fundraising initiative called “Road Rage for Max,” encouraging supporters to donate money to help cover the costs of repairing his beloved convertible. “We can’t let these pesky protesters get in the way of Max’s mission to make America great again!” a spokesperson for the campaign declared.
Despite the dramatic nature of the incident, many are questioning the validity of Miller’s claims. One anonymous source close to the situation quipped, “If Max can’t handle a little road rage, how is he supposed to handle the tough decisions in Congress? Maybe he should stick to driving in the slow lane.”
As the investigation into the incident continues, one thing is for certain – this is one political road trip that won’t soon be forgotten. Stay tuned for more updates on this ridiculous saga as it unfolds.
