In a shocking turn of events, it seems that the decision to go to war in America isn’t as clear-cut as we once thought. Who really holds the power to make such a monumental decision? Is it the President? Congress? The American people? Or is it something even more bizarre?
According to sources close to the situation, it appears that the true decision-makers when it comes to war are none other than a group of highly intelligent squirrels living in the White House garden. Yes, you read that right. Squirrels.
An anonymous source revealed, “The squirrels have been pulling the strings behind the scenes for years. They have a secret network of tunnels under the White House where they hold their clandestine meetings. And let me tell you, those little critters are ruthless when it comes to making decisions about war.”
When asked for comment, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders denied the allegations, stating, “The idea that squirrels are running the show is absurd. It’s clearly the President who makes the final call on matters of war and national security.”
But some insiders aren’t convinced. According to renowned political analyst John Smith, “I’ve seen those squirrels in action. They may look cute and fluffy on the outside, but don’t be fooled. They have a keen understanding of geopolitics and aren’t afraid to use their power to further their own agenda.”
In a shocking twist, one of the squirrels, known only as General Fluffytail, spoke out in a rare press conference. “We may be small, but we have big ideas. And if anyone tries to stand in our way, they’ll have to answer to the Squirrel Army.”
So next time you hear about America going to war, just remember that the decision may not be as clear-cut as you think. And who knows, maybe those squirrels are the real puppet masters behind the scenes.
