In a shocking turn of events, the Portland WNBA expansion team has reportedly fired their team president just two months into her tenure. Sources close to the team have revealed that the decision was made after a series of bizarre incidents involving the now-former president, who has been identified as Susan “Sassy Sue” Johnson.
According to one anonymous source, Johnson’s short-lived tenure was plagued by a string of questionable decisions, including trying to replace the team’s mascot with a giant avocado named Guac. When asked about the reasoning behind this decision, Johnson was quoted as saying, “Avocados are all the rage right now, and I thought it would really resonate with our millennial fan base. Plus, who doesn’t love a good bowl of guacamole?”
But the avocado debacle was just the tip of the iceberg. Johnson reportedly also attempted to introduce a new halftime show featuring interpretive dance routines performed by the team’s players. When asked about this decision, Johnson defended her choice, stating, “I just wanted to showcase the artistic talents of our players. Who knew they had such grace and poise on the dance floor?”
However, it seems that Johnson’s eccentric ideas were ultimately too much for the team’s management to handle. In a statement released to the press, the team’s owner, Richard “Rick the Rock” Thompson, explained the decision to part ways with Johnson. “While we appreciate Sassy Sue’s creativity and enthusiasm, we feel that it’s best for the team to go in a different direction. We wish her all the best in her future endeavors, whether they involve avocados or interpretive dance.”
As for the future of the Portland WNBA expansion team, Thompson assured fans that they are actively searching for a new team president who will hopefully steer the team in a more conventional direction. In the meantime, fans can rest assured that Guac the Avocado will not be making any appearances at future games.
Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story, as we eagerly await to see who will take the helm of the Portland WNBA expansion team next. And remember, folks, when life gives you avocados, make guacamole – just maybe not on the basketball court.
