In a shocking turn of events, the Pentagon has unveiled its jaw-dropping $961 billion budget request, which includes funding for a Golden Dome, missiles, drones, and fewer F-35 jets. Yes, you read that right – fewer F-35 jets. Apparently, the Pentagon has decided that maybe, just maybe, we don’t need as many super-expensive fighter jets as we thought. Who would have thunk it?
In a press conference, Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin defended the budget request, saying, “We believe that the Golden Dome will provide much-needed protection against alien invasions, while the missiles and drones will help us defend against more earthly threats. And as for the F-35 jets, well, let’s just say we’ve had a change of heart. Turns out, they’re not as cool as we thought.”
When asked about the decision to reduce the number of F-35 jets, General John Smith replied, “Look, we ran the numbers and realized that we could probably get by with, like, half as many jets. Plus, have you seen the price tag on those things? It’s insane! We could build a whole fleet of drones for the cost of one F-35. It’s a no-brainer, really.”
But not everyone is on board with the budget request. Senator Bob Johnson, a staunch supporter of the F-35 program, expressed his outrage, saying, “This is an outrage! How dare they cut funding for the F-35 jets? Those jets are a vital part of our national defense strategy. Without them, we might as well be flying paper airplanes.”
Despite the controversy, the Pentagon seems determined to move forward with its budget request. Only time will tell if the Golden Dome, missiles, and drones will be enough to protect us from whatever threats lurk out there in the great beyond. One thing’s for sure – it’s going to be one heck of a ride.
