In a bold move that has left many Oklahomans scratching their heads, the state is seeking to exclude soda and candy from food stamp purchases. Yes, you heard that right – no more sugary treats for those on government assistance. But fear not, dear citizens, for the Oklahoma government has your best interests at heart (or so they claim).
Governor Kevin Stitt defended the decision in a press conference, stating, “We believe that by restricting the purchase of soda and candy with food stamps, we are promoting healthier eating habits among our residents. Plus, we really just want to see how many people will try to sneak in some Twinkies under the radar.”
However, not everyone is on board with this new policy. Local resident Sally Sweettooth expressed her outrage, saying, “This is an outrage! How am I supposed to survive without my daily dose of Mountain Dew and Snickers bars? It’s like they’re trying to take away my happiness.”
In response to critics, Governor Stitt’s office released a statement saying, “We understand that this may be a difficult adjustment for some individuals, but we believe that it is a necessary step in promoting a healthier lifestyle for all Oklahomans. Plus, we just really want to see if anyone will try to bribe us with Skittles to reverse the decision.”
As expected, the news has sparked a wave of memes and jokes on social media, with one user tweeting, “Looks like Oklahoma is trying to make food stamps as bland as their weather.” Ouch, that’s gotta hurt.
So, if you’re a food stamp recipient in Oklahoma, it looks like you’ll have to bid farewell to your beloved sugary treats. But hey, who needs candy when you can have broccoli, right? Just kidding, we all know broccoli is the worst. Sorry, Governor Stitt, but you can’t fool us with your healthy eating propaganda. We’ll just have to find other ways to satisfy our sweet tooth cravings.
