In a shocking turn of events, North Carolina lawmakers have finalized a bill that would scrap the state’s 2030 carbon reduction goal. The move has left environmentalists scratching their heads and wondering if lawmakers have gone completely off the rails.
In a press conference held outside the state capitol, Governor Roy Cooper expressed his disappointment in the decision, stating, “I can’t believe they would do this. It’s like they’re saying, ‘Let’s just ignore climate change and hope it goes away.’ It’s like trying to fight a fire with gasoline.”
When asked for comment, Senator Bob Smith, a key proponent of the bill, defended the decision, saying, “We believe that focusing on carbon reduction is a waste of time and resources. Let’s face it, climate change is just a big hoax perpetuated by the liberal media. We need to prioritize more important issues, like making sure there’s enough barbecue for everyone in the state.”
Environmental groups have been quick to condemn the bill, with Jane Greenpeace, a spokesperson for Save Our Oceans, stating, “This is a disaster for our planet. North Carolina is setting a dangerous precedent by ignoring the urgent need to reduce carbon emissions. It’s like they’re saying, ‘Who needs clean air and water anyway?'”
But not everyone is upset about the decision. Billy Bob Jenkins, a local farmer from the small town of Hogwash, applauded the lawmakers, saying, “I don’t know about all this carbon stuff, but I do know that we need more coal mines and factories in this state. We need to bring back the good ol’ days when you could fish in the river and catch a three-eyed catfish.”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: North Carolina lawmakers have certainly stirred the pot with their decision to scrap the 2030 carbon reduction goal. Whether this move will have long-term consequences for the state’s environment remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure – the comedy writers at The Onion have some stiff competition.
