In a bizarre turn of events, a New Jersey lifeguard was impaled by a beach umbrella while on duty, officials say. Yes, you read that correctly – a beach umbrella! Talk about a sharp twist in the plot!
According to witnesses, lifeguard Johnny “Sunscreen” Smith was patrolling the shores of Jersey Shore Beach when a sudden gust of wind sent a rogue beach umbrella flying through the air like a scene out of Mary Poppins. Unfortunately for poor Johnny, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up getting impaled by the umbrella, much to the shock and horror of beachgoers.
“Oh my goodness, it was like something out of a horror movie,” said beach regular Karen Beachbod. “One minute Johnny was scanning the water for swimmers in distress, and the next minute he was screaming bloody murder with an umbrella sticking out of his side. It was like a twisted version of ‘Singin’ in the Rain’!”
Paramedics were quickly called to the scene and rushed Johnny to the hospital, where he underwent emergency surgery to remove the umbrella. Miraculously, he is said to be in stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery, though he may have a newfound fear of beach umbrellas for the rest of his days.
In a statement, Jersey Shore Beach officials assured the public that they are taking steps to prevent such incidents from happening in the future. “We are implementing a strict ‘no flying umbrellas’ policy on our beaches,” said spokesperson Sandy Seashell. “We want to ensure the safety of our lifeguards and beachgoers alike, because getting impaled by a beach umbrella is no laughing matter – well, maybe a little bit.”
So, next time you’re at the beach, be sure to keep an eye out for any rogue umbrellas and maybe invest in a good pair of sunglasses for added protection. And remember, when it comes to beach safety, it’s better to be safe than sorry – or impaled by an umbrella!
