In a shocking turn of events, nearly 200 House Democrats have rejected a resolution condemning the violent anti-ICE riots in LA. Apparently, they believe that setting fire to federal buildings and attacking law enforcement officers is just their way of expressing their displeasure with current immigration policies.
When asked for a comment on their decision, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi simply shrugged and said, “Hey, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! Or at least, turn a blind eye and hope it all blows over.”
Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, known for her outspoken views on social justice issues, had this to say about the riots: “Violence is never the answer, unless it’s against ICE, then it’s totally cool. I mean, have you seen those cages they put kids in? It’s like a modern-day concentration camp, but with worse lighting.”
Meanwhile, President Joe Biden, who has been criticized for his lack of action on the riots, defended the Democrats’ decision, saying, “Look, I know things are getting a little out of hand out there, but let’s not forget that we’re all on the same team here. Well, except for those ICE guys, they can go kick rocks.”
In a bizarre twist, Republican Representative Ted Cruz actually praised the Democrats for their stance on the riots, saying, “I never thought I’d see the day when I agreed with those crazy lefties, but hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day.”
As the chaos in LA continues to escalate, with rioters throwing Molotov cocktails and chanting “Abolish ICE,” it’s clear that the Democrats have a lot of explaining to do. But hey, who needs explanations when you’ve got political grandstanding and empty rhetoric, am I right?
In the meantime, the citizens of LA can only hope that someone will step in and restore order before things spiral completely out of control. And if that someone happens to be a group of rogue superheroes or a pack of unicorns, well, stranger things have happened in politics, right?
