The entire state of Wisconsin is on high alert as the search for the elusive Minnesota lawmaker shooter continues. The suspect, known only as “Bucky the Badger,” has evaded authorities for days, leaving a trail of cheese curds and beer cans in his wake.
Local authorities are urging residents to stay indoors and lock their doors, as Bucky is still on the loose. Sheriff Cheesehead McBratwurst issued a statement saying, “We are doing everything in our power to track down this dangerous criminal. If you see someone wearing a cheesehead hat and carrying a beer, please contact us immediately.”
The Minnesota lawmaker, Representative Hotdish McJalapeno, was reportedly shot in the buttocks while attending a cheese festival in neighboring Wisconsin. Eyewitnesses say they saw Bucky the Badger fleeing the scene on a riding lawnmower, yelling, “Go Pack Go!”
In a shocking turn of events, Bucky the Badger’s mother, Mrs. Bucky, spoke out in defense of her son. “My Bucky would never hurt a fly,” she insisted. “He’s just a misunderstood badger who loves cheese and beer a little too much.”
Meanwhile, the Wisconsin Cheese Council has offered a reward of 100 pounds of cheddar cheese for any information leading to Bucky’s capture. “We take our cheese very seriously in Wisconsin,” said council president, Brie Brie. “We will not rest until Bucky is brought to justice.”
As the search for Bucky the Badger intensifies, residents are advised to remain vigilant and report any suspicious behavior. In the words of Sheriff McBratwurst, “We will not rest until Bucky is behind bars, where he can no longer terrorize our beloved cheese festivals.”
Stay tuned to our satire news website for updates on this developing story. And remember, if you see a badger wearing a cheesehead hat, don’t approach him – just call the authorities.
