In a shocking turn of events, Senator Lisa Murkowski has finally given her approval on the $3.3 trillion megabill after some strategic spending for her home state of Alaska. The senator, who was initially hesitant to support the bill, reportedly had a change of heart after seeing the generous allocations for Alaska in the budget.
“I was on the fence about this bill, but when I saw the line item for a giant ice cream sundae for every Alaskan, I knew I had to say yes,” Murkowski said in a statement. “I mean, who can resist free ice cream? It’s a win-win for everyone.”
Other questionable expenditures in the bill include a $10 million grant for a moose wrestling arena in Anchorage, and a $5 million allocation for a “Polar Bear Plunge” theme park in Fairbanks.
When asked about the unusual spending choices, Murkowski defended them by saying, “Alaska is a unique state with unique needs. We have to think outside the box when it comes to budgeting. Who wouldn’t want to see a moose wrestling match or take a plunge with some polar bears?”
Critics of the bill have called out Murkowski for prioritizing frivolous spending over more pressing issues. However, the senator remains unfazed, stating, “Sometimes you have to have a little fun with the budget. Besides, who doesn’t love a good moose wrestling match?”
In the end, Murkowski’s decision to support the megabill may have raised some eyebrows, but one thing is for sure – Alaska is in for a wild ride with all the new attractions coming their way. As one anonymous source put it, “I can’t wait to see those polar bears take the plunge. It’s going to be a real splash!”
