In a bizarre turn of events, multiple arrests were made near the Portland ICE building after police declared a riot last night. The scene was chaotic, with protesters throwing water bottles and shouting obscenities at law enforcement officers. It was a real-life episode of “Cops Gone Wild.”
One protester, who goes by the name of “Sassy Pants McGee,” was quoted as saying, “I just wanted to make a statement against the oppressive ICE regime, but things got a little out of hand. Who knew rioting could be so exhausting?”
Another protester, who preferred to remain anonymous but was wearing a giant chicken suit, claimed that the police were overreacting. “I was just trying to peacefully protest in my fabulous chicken costume, but the next thing I know, I’m being handcuffed and thrown into a police van. It’s fowl play, I tell you!”
The arrests didn’t stop there. “Captain Underpants,” a self-proclaimed superhero who was spotted flying above the scene in his makeshift cape, was also taken into custody. When asked for a statement, he simply replied, “To the rescue! Oh, wait, wrong situation.”
The Portland police department released a statement saying, “We will not tolerate this kind of behavior in our city. Rioting and violence are not the answer.” However, some critics argue that the police response was excessive and that the protesters were simply exercising their right to free speech.
In the end, it was a night of chaos, confusion, and questionable fashion choices. As the dust settled and the arrests were made, one thing was clear – Portland is not a city to mess with, especially when it comes to riots near the ICE building. Let’s hope the next protest is a bit more peaceful, and maybe a little less ridiculous.
