In a shocking turn of events at California’s Big Sur State Park, a mother bear was euthanized after attacking a woman who was peacefully asleep in her locked camper. The woman, who only wanted to be identified as Betty Bearlover, had reportedly been camping in the park for several days when the incident occurred.
According to park officials, the bear had been spotted rummaging through campsites in search of food before making its way to Betty’s camper. In a desperate attempt to satisfy her insatiable hunger, the bear clawed its way into the camper, startling Betty awake.
“I woke up to find a giant bear staring at me with a look that said ‘I haven’t had my morning coffee yet,'” Betty recounted. “I tried to reason with her, telling her I had nothing but granola bars and a half-eaten bag of trail mix, but she wasn’t having any of it.”
In a panic, Betty managed to escape the camper and alert park rangers, who quickly arrived on the scene. After assessing the situation, they made the difficult decision to euthanize the bear to ensure the safety of other campers in the park.
Park ranger Joe Grizzlybear defended the decision, stating, “We had no choice but to put the bear down. She was a repeat offender with a taste for human snacks, and we couldn’t risk another attack.”
The incident has sparked outrage among animal rights activists, with some calling for Betty to be held accountable for the bear’s untimely demise. In response, Betty quipped, “I never thought my love for granola bars would lead to such a bear-y situation. I guess you could say I’m now a ‘bear-y’ wanted woman.”
As campers continue to flock to Big Sur State Park, many are left wondering if another hungry bear might be lurking in the shadows. In the meantime, Betty has vowed to stay vigilant, stating, “I may have lost a camper, but I gained a new appreciation for the phrase ‘don’t poke the bear.'”
Stay tuned to our satire news website for more ridiculous stories that will have you laughing until you cry – or until a bear attacks you in your sleep.
