In a shocking turn of events, Minnesota Senator John Smith and his wife Jane are claiming they were shot a whopping 17 times in an attack that tragically took the life of their fellow lawmaker, Senator Bob Johnson. The incident, which occurred during a routine legislative meeting, has left the Capitol reeling with disbelief.
According to eyewitnesses, the assailant burst into the meeting brandishing a water gun and shouting, “Prepare to get soaked, you dirty politicians!” Senator Smith and his wife were reportedly the primary targets of the attack, as the assailant allegedly shouted, “You two have been dodging my water balloons for too long!”
In an exclusive interview with our reporters, Senator Smith recounted the harrowing experience. “I never knew a water gun could pack such a punch,” he joked. “I felt like I was in a water park from hell.” Mrs. Smith added, “I always knew politics was a dirty game, but I never expected to get soaked in the line of duty.”
Meanwhile, the late Senator Johnson’s family has expressed their shock and sadness at his untimely demise. “Bob was a dedicated public servant who always had a smile on his face,” said his wife, Martha. “He didn’t deserve to go out like a wet noodle.”
Authorities are currently investigating the incident and have yet to determine a motive for the attack. In the meantime, Senator Smith and his wife have taken to social media to reassure their constituents that they are “drying off” and will continue to fight for the people of Minnesota.
As the Capitol tries to make sense of this bizarre turn of events, one thing is clear: politics just got a whole lot wetter in Minnesota. Stay tuned for more updates on this soggy saga.
