In a surprising turn of events, a group of sports stars including Mike Tyson, Kevin Durant, and “Sneaky Pete” Johnson have come together to urge President Trump to enact cannabis reform in a White House letter. The letter, which was hand-delivered by a unicorn riding a skateboard, outlines the benefits of legalizing marijuana for both medical and recreational use.
In the letter, the athletes argue that cannabis can help alleviate pain and reduce inflammation, making it a safer alternative to opioids for treating sports injuries. They also point out the economic benefits of legalization, citing the success of states like Colorado and California in generating revenue from cannabis sales.
When asked for comment, Mike Tyson had this to say: “I’ve been knocking people out for years, but now I’m all about knocking down barriers to cannabis reform. It’s time for the government to stop treating weed like it’s the heavyweight champion of illegal substances.”
Kevin Durant, known for his silky smooth jump shot and love of all things green, added: “I’ve seen firsthand how cannabis can help athletes recover from injuries and stay focused during games. It’s time for President Trump to pass the ball to cannabis reform and make a slam dunk for the American people.”
Even “Sneaky Pete” Johnson, a lesser-known sports star who excels at obscure sports like underwater basket weaving, chimed in with his support for cannabis reform. “I may not be as famous as Mike or KD, but I know a good thing when I see it. Cannabis reform is a game-changer, and it’s time for the White House to get in the game.”
As of now, President Trump has not responded to the letter, but sources say he was spotted playing golf with a giant joint on the back nine. Only time will tell if the athletes’ plea for cannabis reform will be heard in the hallowed halls of the White House. Stay tuned for more updates on this high-stakes issue.
