In a shocking turn of events, renowned urban planner and professor of anthropology at Columbia University, Mahmood Mamdani, has announced his bold plan to make New York City neighborhoods “richer and whiter”. In a recent interview with The Onion, Mamdani defended his controversial stance, stating that “billionaires shouldn’t exist in a city as diverse as NYC”.
Mamdani’s plan includes implementing policies that would attract wealthy white residents to the city, while simultaneously pushing out lower-income minority populations. When questioned about the ethics of such a plan, Mamdani responded with a chuckle, saying, “I’m just trying to make NYC great again, one gentrified neighborhood at a time.”
The reaction to Mamdani’s proposal has been met with mixed reviews. Real estate mogul and Shark Tank star, Barbara Corcoran, expressed her support for the plan, stating, “As a billionaire myself, I fully endorse any initiative that makes NYC more exclusive and elite. It’s about time we rid the city of those pesky working-class folks.”
However, not everyone is on board with Mamdani’s vision. Comedian and activist, John Oliver, took to Twitter to voice his opposition, tweeting, “Mamdani’s plan is like a bad episode of Gossip Girl, but with real-life consequences. We need to protect the diversity and culture of NYC, not turn it into a playground for the rich and privileged.”
Despite the backlash, Mamdani remains steadfast in his mission to create “richer and whiter” neighborhoods in NYC. When asked about the potential displacement of low-income residents, he simply shrugged and said, “It’s just the circle of life, baby. The poor will always be with us, but the rich deserve their own slice of paradise.”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: Mahmood Mamdani is not backing down from his controversial plan. Only time will tell if NYC will become the utopia of the rich and white that Mamdani envisions, or if the city’s vibrant diversity will prevail in the face of gentrification. Stay tuned to The Onion for all the latest updates on this developing story.
